Hipsters of the World, Unite!

This...this just hurts my head. 

I'm trying to form a coherent response to an incoherent call for...well, what?  Hey, you evil corporations that provide hundreds of millions of people with jobs and benefits, not to mention nearly all of the goods we consume, this world would be so much better if you didn't exist!  Those goods and jobs?  Well, they'll still exist, somehow. 

For Christ sake, people:


They have held students hostage with tens of thousands of dollars of debt on education, which is itself a human right.

I'm assuming "they" are corporations.  All of that education apparently didn't help the NYCGA clarify pronouns.  Seriously, how do you pack that much stupid into 21 words?  Students are not "hostages" if they voluntarily sign onto a loan.  The government, not corporations, hold a huge portion of those loans.  Education has to be earned and is not a right we are innately born with. 

They have perpetuated colonialism at home and abroad. They have participated in the torture and murder of innocent civilians overseas.

"They" as in the same "they" from before.  So corporations are launching wars and taking over territory?  Really?

"corporations do not seek consent to extract wealth from the people and the Earth"

*blink blink*

Do they force people into the stores at gunpoint?  I mean, seriously, what the hell does that statement mean?

This isn't their first protest.  The first, held on the 17th of September, was a monumental flop noticed only by conservatives who relentlessly mocked them on Twitter (thank you, Iowahawk!).  This one was basically a joke, too, with only a 1,000 protesters showing up, many bused in by local unions.  Compared to Tea Party rallies in the hundreds of thousands, this makes the progressive movement look pretty pathetic compared to the grass roots libertarian movement.  Have to get some notice from somebody other than conservative Twitter comedians...I got it!  Resort to shutting down important roadways and making people's lives miserable! 

Occupy Wall Street is one of the best examples I can think of for reducing direct democracy and reinforcing the protective barriers of a republic.  Go pick up Cicero's De Re Publica, you might learn something.

To this asinine group: If you obey the law, we will ignore you.  If you turn to violence, we'll crush you.  And no, I'm not a corporation, I'm a middle class guy who works two jobs.  Don't even think about responding that I should be on your side; my side is that which protects the rights of people, of all people, even those who have done better than me.  Also, I only join causes that have something resembling a plan.  You say you emulate the Tahrir Square protesters.  Perhaps you do; where is their democracy?  What is their plan?  Been over half a year and their military is still in charge.  That's how most revolutions end up.  Learn your history.